creating, not building

I forgot to mention in my previous post from today...

One of the things one friend mentioned was how, until recently, he felt pressure to "build something with his life". Every step in his career, personal life, and passing year of his life had to build upon the past toward a common goal. This was really stressful to him and bringing him down.

He recently freed himself from the stress of this huge undertaking by simply allowing himself to "create" rather than "build". He said the way he sees it now, some things can take a long time to create and others just a short time.

As he shared this, his face registered a huge sense of relief and ease passed over his features. I'm going to try this new thinking.

Namaste.

reconnecting with the past

Today, by a shear streak of random luck (or divine intervention) I got to spend several hours over coffee with two friends from high school. Although we had not seen each other in many years, the connection we all felt was easy and instant. It was as though we had not missed a beat in our time together and was very refreshing.

I continue to marvel at how opening myself to the good energy of the universe brings this amazing things to the forefront. What wonderful friends I have had (and still have). What a much needed affirmation that all will work out for the best and soon.

My little family is on the precipice of something good and wonderful. Watch out 2010! Here we come in full, positive force.

re-writing myself

Recently, while casually exploring what's out there for jobs in the market, I submitted my resume to Jobfox, a search-engine site for marketing and communications professionals. As part of their "free" service, I received a review of my resume from a supposed expert.

At the risk of sounding bitter, what I received was a form letter with slots that the "writer" had used to make the letter seem personally written to address my resume. The form says, "The appearance...doesn't say 'experienced Engineering professional'. Now come on! As a communications professional, that's ridiculous. While this made me "Hump!" I have to admit that it did make me question the organization and focus of this very piece that supposedly describes me and entices others to want to meet me. Ha! A new challenge.

I sat tonight and worked to write myself as an "achiever" rather than a "doer" (one of the good nuggets I did get out of the letter). It's somehow freeing, albeit difficult, to rethink my experience this way. Now to make it all gel together. Stay tuned.

writers in common

I went to hear my cousin and author, Roland Merullo speak tonight. Aside from the fact that briefly reconnected with my cousin whom I hadn't seen for years, I found the discussion that ensued quite inspiring.

Before I got a chance to ask, another member of those assembled asked him to speak of his process for writing. He said that he never outlines. In fact, he added, that the times he's attempted to outline the work that's come from it has not been his best.

The other tidbit that I found interesting was when he addressed writing about his past and his family. He said that he struggles with wanting to write about the places and people he knows while wanting to keep their identity, quirks, and misgivings private to protect them from being hurt.

I found this especially meaningful as I continue to work on my novel whose characters are based on people from my life. I am changing them as best I can to protect them from being exposed or hurt. Often, though, I run into a conflict in my creative mind on this as I know that truth is stranger than fiction. On the other hand, it is often freeing to write in parts of their lives that I don't know, using my imagination to fill in the blanks.

All in all, it is a wonderful thing to hear from and about others that share in the craft of writing. To know that others are exploring the crags of imagination, somewhere typing away on a computer, is comforting.

ghosts at the company picnic

I went to the home of my employer yesterday for the office summer picnic. (Strange timing, I know, as today is officially the first day of autumn.) After hearing from his secretary that my boss' house is haunted, I was eager to enter the area in question and test out my sense.

We walked down into the finished basement, entering on a landing which turned right into a bright exercise room or left into the bottom level great room area. Immediately upon turning left, I was confronted by a shiver of cold--a ghost presence. While I did not see her in manifestation, she appeared to me in my mind. Long, flowing hair, a long-sleeved blouse, cumberbun, and long skirt, she is certainly a ghost of the past. The boss asked me to walk around, into the spare bedroom off the great room, into the connected bathroom and walk-in closet, testing me to see if I felt anything in these other areas. When I didn't, he confirmed that other had only ever felt her in the living area. He asked me to describe what I had sensed, impressed that my description matched those of more seasoned and respected ghost seers.

While she seemed sad and stuck, I was relieved to have proven to myself again that I really can sense these things.

work in progress

Talked some ideas through tonight with Tom and have decided:

• my writing endeavors are worth continuing
• it's okay if my "novel" becomes short stories
• I have to take pressure off myself to write a full novel and make each "chapter" or section a perfect work within itself

I'm feeling much better now, thanks to the good listening skills of my hubby. Can he put that on his resume--directive listener?

It's still not clear to me whether what I'm working on will tie together enough to be a novel. Perhaps this is a string of short stories, as I'm not sure there is enough of a crux for an entire book to hinge on. Why would someone want to keep reading it, Tom asked, pressing me to think through my outline. Good, and respectfully asked, question.

Runway and Writing Group

Thought Mitchell should have been gone from Runway last night.

Tonight is my first writing group. I will receive feedback on Ghost Story--very nervous but excited at the same time.

On the Runway!

Project Runway starts tonight! So excited about that. My Mom once asked why I like it so much and I told her that it's the closest thing that the average American sees to what it's like to have an art crit in school. Love it!

Picked up The Secret again tonight--great principles, now to practice them. The idea is that positive thoughts attract positive thoughts and that one needs to meditate on this principle daily to attract and strengthen them.

Submitting my first draft (really rough) of my ghost book to writing group over email tonight. Very nervous.

Wrote a lot at work this week: blog about Phthalate-free flooring, initial thoughts on how to position new carpeting, new website copy on environmentally friendly flooring.

Tom laid off -- creativity abounds

Tom was laid off today. Although we have been anticipating this for at least 5 weeks now, it is still hard to deal with. I am confident that this is for the best and that our lives will be the better for it in the long run. All-in-all, Tom's creativity, both in his work and how to make his work happen will be simultaneously unleashed and satisfying. It's the transition to that place that's scary. Like the start of any long journey, the beginning is always a bit nerve racking.

Meanwhile, I had a very creative day at work writing content for and thinking through links and architecture for the rhino site.

I met with Holly Robinson last night for coffee and writer's inspiration. My reading group meets in a week and a half, and I finally think I'm ready to take the plunge with my submission. I can't tell how I got to this point, because the task seemed dauntingly unachievable about a month ago. See? There's the same message coming through again...the journey is always what gets you there and you can't see it without moving from the start.

All is and will be well for us. I know it.
With faith to the Universe and summoning the help of my spirit guide(s),
-Cate

Quantum Physics

Quantum physics keeps coming up for me in my life. Not sure where this is going to bring me, but thought it best to take note and start to officially "notice".

• with woman in Portland, ME that Betsy Keiter hooked me up with. She was a medium of sorts (find the notebook used during this session)
  
• Movie, What the Bleep Do We Know?
• TV show on PBS while I was riding the exercise bike this past winter (2009)
• in discussion with acupuncturist, Marty, when discussing the book he is reading: [name]
• in reading of book Carol gave me called "the Secret" about the law of attraction.

Very interested in the law of attraction--reading more about it and QP now.

Good article on this: http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Law-of-Attraction-and-Quantum-Physics&id=223148

Hands of Light author Barbara Brennan is an American physicist? WOW! Now, this is getting somewhere
"the Universe appears to be a dynamic web of interconnected and inseparable energy patterns. If the universe is indeed composed of such a web, there is logically no such thing as a part."

I would add that we are both parts of the Whole and the Whole at once.

Inspiring conclusions from Alex Paterson on this blog:
"The recent findings of Quantum Physics (especially Dr Bohm's work) about the universe being made up of an "interconnected unbroken wholeness", examples of Non-Locality phenomena (Bells Theorem) and the 'Observer Effect' implying that consciousness underlies all reality, has striking parallels with the ancient Esoteric concept that all reality is the manifestation of an infinite Singularity (creative principle) which I personally choose to call Source, and most others call God. However, none of this is surprising to those who have experienced the 'Oneness' associated with some sort of deep spiritual experience or holotropic state."

Affirmation and Intuition Toward the Positive Future

Tom was laid off (furloughed?) yesterday and it's with great calm that I approach this development. I feel as though there is greater good going to come out of this for Tom and me and Cal. Perhaps we use this time to refocus our goals and work toward the changes we discussed during our anniversary dinner last week: creating a more serene, outdoor-focused lifestyle for ourselves and our kids and creating work environments for ourselves in which we are in control and working to fulfill ourselves while supporting our family, sharing love with our family, enjoying good health, and living in abundance.

It's defining that last list which is such an important step for us. It's amazing to be together after all these years and there's still so much more to discover.

Opening ourselves with love for the Universe and expecting the best,
Cate

Knocking Hillary Out of the Running--Did They Forsee Progressive?

I wonder if, when the powers that be picked Palin for the Republican VP spot with an eye toward knocking out Hillary from the running, they ever thought they would end up with an even more progressive US President? Controversial, President at that.

Calvin's latest

Calvin continues to amaze me. We went to the aquarium today with a friend of his from school today, and it was incredible. He is so determined to question and explore that it literally wears him out. He's upstairs this very moment sleeping off his morning of exploration and fun with his buddy. I am so proud of him.

writing on Pico

So, I've been working on writing my book. It just occurred to me, as I was lost in the essence of reliving my past, that I need to stay focused on what made my early years spent on Pico Mountain different?

Some thoughts:

• I grew up merely steps away from skiing--and good skiing!
• I was allowed to roam for miles and my parents didn't worry--this was before cell phones.
• I knew every rock, nook and cranny, bend in the road, and hill within at least a mile radius of my house.
• We had to keep the pantry stocked at all times as the closest grocery store was 10 miles away, one way
• Often, the weather determined if we went out or not.

Hmmm, maybe this book will work.

increased effectiveness now that I'm a Mom

The creative process really does start anywhere for me, but especially at home. My son provides such a pure joy for me, that finding flexible ways to work to support us uses my creative skills to their max. I have always been a very good worker/employee, revered for my time skills and for working hard. I feel like I am a more effective and more head smart worker now that I am a Mom. I really understand the value of time and how to manage it.

Everything changes, but for the best

So, I've decided to start to blog on a daily basis more as a way to get the creative juices flowing for myself than anything else. But, my hope is that something good will come out of this to fuel my idea of the "new" woman of this era and what it's like to be a mom now.

I was home with a very sick son for the past few days. It's the toughest thing to see your child suffer. He was hospitalized and had to have 2 IVs. The worst was when he had to have them removed. He just screamed and screamed and all I wanted to do was climb into his body and suffer for him!

One of the toughest things I've ever had to do is be a Mom. I know it sounds corny, but I am a strong woman, and I feel as though not much has shaken me as hard as becoming a Mom. One of the toughest things about it is that you want to be a Mom, you're pregnant for nearly a year and expecting that whole time, then Boom! One day, you're a Mom! Everything changes. Not for the worst, either, it just changes. Somehow, everything other than that little being in your arms is less important than it ever was. It's amazing!